The Chronicles of My Not-Crush

Hello, blog. It’s been a while. Sometimes, writing for literally nobody except myself can be such a relief. This week, I’ve been shying away from writing just because it’s been a heck of a week. It’s been ridiculously long, and I’m left feeling overwhelmed by things both preposterously large and outrageously small. Also, warning- this post is going to be utter garbage in terms of writing, and in terms of content. I’m only writing to hear my own voice after what’s been far too long.

Starting with the large- I have two months to prepare for my SATs, and my assessments, both of which I need to nail if I want to redeem myself. I’ll save these for another post, because right now I just cannot bring myself to talk about them.

Now, on to the small. Small problems to me are easy to talk about and actually quite fun to play with. As you would probably guess, my small problem involves a crush. More like *cough* a Not-Crush *cough*. Nobody likes crushes, they’re just annoying as hell. So when a crush first popped up to say hello earlier this week, I was ready to kill it with fire because NO. The last thing I need right now is a crush, ew. Crushes are just one of the many ways in which life decides to use your emotions to loud your judgement. So basically, there’s this person that I have found pretty attractive for a while, but like- not boyfriend attractive. just everything else attractive. I’ve never considered myself a shallow person who only likes people on raw attraction, but I don’t control my crushes, okay?!?!? I can’t help it. The crush is huge, here to stay, and probably not the best idea. Ugh, this morning he was in the same class as me and we were alone and I was being anti-social because I didn’t want to speak and mess things up. Then I hear my name, and inside I just go oh my gosh, what have I done now?  The voice, coming from the other side of the room, is, well, ugh. It’s the voice of my Not Crush. They’re asking what subjects I’m doing, and I fight back the urge to say “Biology, Chemistry, and English- but I really want to be doing you”. I’m hilarious, I know. We move on to talking about haircare, and morning routines, because curls are so hard to take care of. Stupid, mundane, boring, elementary and one dimensional. I guess those are the properties of a Not Crush.

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