Hello there lovelies! So I was originally going to write a post about a strange metaphor, but then remembered that today is the first day of February. A subsequent realization followed that we’re two weeks away from the fateful day of February 14th, Valentines Day. It’s also going to be during my exams (stressful, I hate exams and they always just put me out of it completely, I hate to think of all the all-nighters I’m going to have to pull) so two weeks from now I’ll be very, very busy. Well, I’m already busy, but it’ll be even more so in the weeks to come.
Realistically, I probably won’t be able to get the time to post during the week of doom or on Feb 14th itself, so I thought that I’d take the time to reflect right now. Two weeks away from Valentines Day, and I’m single. I’ll probably be single on Valentines Day too. It doesn’t exactly bother me, but it does dig up some old dust bunnies that I haven’t had to acknowledge in a long while. Last year on Valentines day, I was in a relationship. In fact, the second anniversary of said relationship will be on sixth February. That is, it would’ve been on the sixth, except there’s nothing really to celebrate now since it’s over. That being said, I never really did celebrate Valentines Day. I mean, my parents have never been thrilled with the idea of me dating, and have always made it clear that they wouldn’t condone it. As a result, it was quiet and not treated like a celebration. It was more so a marker for me to reflect on, a cue to look back on my romantic endeavors. I’ve learnt so much and walked away from so much, I’ve been walked away from and I’ve left a lot of memories trailing my track. I wish I could say that no regrets have shown up on this reflection, but that isn’t the case. The truth is regrets are unavoidable and they’re just part of reflection. To answer the question in the title of this mini rant, two weeks from Valentines Day. I’m single, but not unhappy. I’m a little all over the place, but it isn’t necessarily bad, it’s just human to be confused. I’m doing alright, and while there are ways to improve where I’m at right now, I think I’m doing okay, and working on getting better. Maybe I’m not head over heels in love with someone right now, and maybe I won’t be doe eyed in love on the eve of Valentines Day. Perhaps a few years down the line, it’ll be a different story, but for now, this is where I’m at.