I’ve been taught, from a very young age, what “perfect” was- and what wasn’t, and from a very young age I’ve been conditioned to think the body I have is one that fits the wide, broad, and very misused definition of “perfect”. Let me elaborate, ‘cause you’re probably a little lost right now, given the cryptic introduction I just wrote.
I am someone who is considered “thin”. hear me when I say that that’s far from the same thing as “ideal”, at least in my books. I’m just considered thin, and oh maaan is there a huge difference between the two, like major. I’ve got collarbones that stand out against my skin, and hipbones that pop up when I lie down. If I flex my back enough I’ll reveal the outline of my ribs. I have a persistently flat stomach. So many people have offered endless compliments on these qualities, but I constantly ask myself and question myself- am I beautiful, or do I just fit a mold? probably hard to understand at first glance (like most of the things produced by my brain) I’ve just been wondering and worrying about these seemingly well meaning “compliments” that I hear in passing, the ones that went something like: ‘omg, you’re so skinny, teach me how!’ or ‘woah, it must be nice to be able to wear whatever you want all the time’. It’s not like being thin has ever been a major part of my life. No, being skinny was far from something that affected my life- I was born prematurely and I was underweight (I had to be incubated) and had remained that way, always the tiny one and subsequently always the skinny one. Sometimes I’d get the skinny shaming, gosh, like when “All About That Bass” came out and one of my friends told me it was about “skinny bi*ches like you”. She didn’t mean any harm, I don’t think she even thought about what she was saying. I’m thin but not on a diet, and when I lose my appetite every now and then I get labelled, and I get to hear serious disorders being casually thrown around associated with me, after which I’m told to ‘relax, it was a compliment’. Like, I seriously don’t think I wanna live in a world where “omg, you’re so anorexic!” is a compliment. Yes, society, I’m what you’d consider perfect, but am I really? because it’s gotten to a point where I feel like I’m being ‘valued’ for something that actually has put me down in real life. Maybe I have a body that’s considered “perfect”, but if I can’t go about my life without people making assumptions about me (just in case you’re wondering, and I don’t blame you for wondering, I’m not the type of girl to put low fat milk in her lattes) and how omg-she’s-skinny-she-is-perfect and gah. I may have the ‘perfect’ body, but why are you making me feel so trapped in it?
I know, not everyone considers skinny to be the ideal body type, but I’ve grown up around people who compliment solely based on that, and now to have my body type be projected more negatively leaves me confused. I’m far from perfect, and my identity is a lot more than ‘skinny bitch’. goodbye for now, and just in case this post has been too full of negativity (sorry, I rant a lot xD) take this virtual hug, smile, and have a nice day ahead of you, anonymous clicker!
and just a reminder: regardless of what body type you have, you’re beautiful ❤